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Archive for April, 2014

First DBT group skills session

16 Apr

Monday saw my first session with the group for DBT skills and because it’s orientation week, we focused on mindfulness. Firstly, let me explain the format of the session:

– It comprises of 2 x 1 hour sessions and a 15 min break
– The first session looks at the previous weeks homework and diary cards
– The second session looks at a new skill and sets homework for the following week. For example, this week we were set the task to do something mindful every day. Next week we will report back to the group about this.

And this is where my issue begins. I don’t want to report back to peers about things. For example, I tried to brush my teeth mindfully and had a flashback. This is personal to me and I don’t want others knowing it (I can see the irony that I’m writing about it on a public blog, but no one knows me).

I also don’t want to hear about others experiences. I’m not there to be pulled down (which is how I felt after hearing one persons homework from the week before) and essentially drained.

It’s only been one week, I’m very aware of that and if it was the content I had issues with, I wouldn’t have a leg to stand on. But it’s the format, and that’s not going to change.

I spoke in my individual session about this and my therapist was trying to get to the bottom of why I felt like that, was it fear, anxiety, being judged etc but actually no, it’s none of those things. I find it hard enough to open up to a ‘professional’ and so why would I suddenly find opening up to 5 strangers something I want to do.

I’ll be honest and it’s made me think totally if this is for me and whether I should just ask for discharge from services (cos I’m there because I need therapy so what would be the point if I wasn’t getting any).

I’m in a state of confusion now and because of the bank holiday, have two weeks to stew about it. I know many people will be thinking, give it more time and that’s probably what I’ll do, but the format won’t change – I’ll always have to feed back to peers.