Archive for August, 2014

TW: But I Need An Answer

09 Aug


This is a very brief post but I need some information and thought this is my best outlet to get it.

To me there are 3 times a year when someone’s death is harder to deal with; their birthday, the anniversary of their death and Christmas.

My question is, if two of those can be merged does it make it easier in the long term for family or does it not matter at all? Eg, if Christmas happened to be the day they died as well – does it matter that there are then only the two big dates to deal with?

As a side note, I know the grief is daily in the short term, but I’m talking over the longer term?

If you don’t want to answer here I’m on twitter as @femaleptsd or you can email me through the contact page on this blog.


DBT – Pros and Cons

02 Aug

This post isn’t about the pros and cons of actual DBT, it’s the homework we were set in the distress tolerance module. We had to think of a “crisis where you found it really hard to tolerate distress, avoid destructive behaviour, and not act impulsively”.

Now this homework in itself shows me exactly the reason I’m in the wrong kind of therapy. Apart from suicidal thoughts (which I’m not willing to talk about in group), I don’t have any moments of intense crisis like that. I have flashbacks that make me feel incredibly low but I don’t self harm or have issues with drink/drugs that would mean I turn to those. I know that’s not all DBT is about and I don’t mean to offend anyone with that last bit, but it’s just showing the homework isn’t fitting with my problems.

So instead I chose a behaviour I’m being told is destructive and did it for that instead. If anyone is interested, here are mine:

1) Tolerating distress: pros
– feeling safe
– don’t have to socialise

2) Tolerating distress: cons
– isolating myself
– self care diminishes
– think too much

3) Not tolerating distress: pros
– not thinking as much
– easier to use distraction techniques

4) Not tolerating distress: cons
– feel vulnerable
– anxiety increases

As you can see I’ve literally just done my own thing in this as I couldn’t think of anything else!