RSS
 

Why Should I Have To Distract?

12 Oct

**TW THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE**

I haven’t posted for a while because my last one got me some trolls on twitter and so I wasn’t actually sure whether I’d ever use this again.

I’m still feeling the same as my last post except now I’m having severe suicidal thoughts. I call them severe because they are at the point of me seriously considering them as my way out (as opposed to just having them as thoughts).

I’ve done as I’m supposed to and called for help to express the way I’m feeling. The answer I could have scripted myself, “you need to distract”. I know this, in fact anyone who has ever been in touch with psychiatric services knows this. But why should I? I’m tired of that, I’m tired of the constant battle in my head – should I, shouldn’t I kill myself?

I’ve even tried the pros and cons list (see I am very rational right now!!) and that points to doing it. And so why should I distract anymore? What is the point? Have a bath, make some tea, are these not just exercises to prolong the obvious?

I will wait until tomorrow and again call the same services that will tell me yet again to distract. I truly am beginning to hate this word now but will take my cue from that conversation.

This post is nothing but a rant really, no words of wisdom or specific that’s happened – just a rant, sorry!!

 
 

Leave a Reply

 

 
  1. Ingrid JOhanne Vaalund

    October 12, 2014 at 8:30 pm

    Too exhausted to write more than these few words: Telling people with post-traumatic stress to “distract” only serves to add to the stress. It is a cruel and discriminatory violation of the Self of a person who has been previously harmed … akin to telling someone who´se body has been smasked by a car to get out of the wheelchair and take a walk.

    What is needed? A safe place to be, with safe people who have the guts to listen to a story of harm without sensoring it.

    I wish you well

     
    • Female PTSD

      October 12, 2014 at 8:31 pm

      Thankyou so much x

       
  2. Kira

    October 12, 2014 at 9:11 pm

    I can certainly understand where you are coming from. Distraction only serves to get you through a flashback, moments of dissociation, urges to self harm, etc…but they are only a temporary solution to a much larger problem which is the PTSD. The point distraction however is to put off what may be a drastic action on your part and can save you from future headaches or even life saving.

    I am going to assume that you haven’t begun to start protocol therapy to process the traumas you have endured. I am in the same boat, and the reason for this because the doctors, therapists, and psychiatrists want us to be more stable so that we are no longer hurting ourselves. By becoming stabilized, we are put into a better position to process these traumas without feeling the need to self harm or commit suicide. Stabilization gives us the tools to keep us from the self destructive behaviors that are what have been used to.

    Hope this helps.

     
  3. dramallama85

    October 12, 2014 at 9:20 pm

    I’m sorry you’re having such an awful time, have written about this before – I am not someone who finds distraction very helpful. I think sometimes ignoring and suppressing things is not the way forward and it may be more helpful to acknowledge your feelings and understand why they are happening. I sometimes feel that when I am told to distract I am being told that my feelings don’t matter, or aren’t important or don’t make sense or have no meaning. I find all of that very hard to accept. I cannot understand how people can talk about validation and distraction in the same breath!

    Could you think about what sort of response would be more helpful to you? Sometimes it can help if someone makes a real human connection with you. Perhaps allows you to express what you need to express? I think generally that crisis services are not great at this. Have you considered another helpline? I know people in MH services shouldn’t have to rely on charities but it sounds as if you’re not getting very much from calling out of hours/ crisis.

    I hope you’re as safe as you can be, and I’m around on Twitter if I can help with anything. Sending you kind thoughts xxx

     
    • Female PTSD

      October 12, 2014 at 9:24 pm

      Thanks so much – you’ve pretty much hit the nail on the head! There is a local charity that have a crisis place run by people who have been there. The only problem is it’s always so busy because it is needed – I might keep trying them tonight to hopefully make it through the night. Thanks again x